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#481 - What Does Extraordinary Love Look Like?

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Many times when I post memes on social media about love and finding an extraordinary partner, people jump in and share their thoughts about how hard really good relationships need to be.

People continually tell me how much hard work it takes to keep a relationship together.

I disagree! Let me explain why.

Twenty years ago, if you'd said "soul mate" to me, I would have scoffed. I thought it was a goony woman thing, something made up for romance novels and Hallmark movies. Not because I was cynical about love, but because I had never once experienced anything close to it. It’s hard to believe in something you've never seen. Then, while I was going through my divorce, I met a woman who proved me wrong.

We had an almost immediate connection. Yes, there was a physical attraction, but it went so much deeper than that. As we got to know each other, we started to develop an intellectual connection. We could talk about anything and everything for hours.

We also shared a spiritual connection, holding the same religious beliefs. We were on the same page and moving in the same direction.

And we were developing an emotional connection that, to this day, is hard to describe because it was deeper than anything I had ever experienced before or since.

These were the actual beginnings of what I now call The Four Cornerstones of Great Relationships.

Did we have disagreements? We most certainly did. But the funny thing is, with a serious conversation and an honest airing of our grievances, they were quickly resolved. Were there hurt feelings from time to time? You bet there were. But the underlying connection is always what brought us back to the bigger picture.

Another way to look at an extraordinary relationship is to use the biblical term "equally yoked." While most people view this as having the same religious beliefs, I think it goes much deeper than that. It's about having your partner's best interest at heart, regardless of how you feel about something in the moment.

The underlying force in a soul mate relationship is that you both enhance each other's life. You're there to support each other in whatever way you can.

Most people view relationships with a scorecard. You do this for me and I'll do that for you. If you don't do this for me, then I won't do that for you.

In an extraordinary relationship, it doesn't work that way. Initially, you may not be interested in what your partner wants from you. But as the relationship grows, you start to be supportive, and maybe even participate in the things and activities they're passionate about.

Why? Because you love them. You care about them. You want to see them happy just for the sake of seeing them happy. And they do the same for you.

You might ask, "But what about as you get older? People change and move in different directions." Yes, people do change. From experience working with hundreds of people, I've seen that extraordinary couples value each other's changes and encourage them as a form of growth, watching how each change enhances the relationship rather than driving a wedge between them.

Extraordinary relationships are rare, mostly because we've never been exposed to them. Most people can only imagine a good relationship, and those do take a lot of hard work. When you find the right relationship, and I mean a true soul mate relationship, you'll quickly understand what I'm sharing with you today.

You'll recognize that your partner brings more to the table than you could have ever imagined. And you'll do the same for them. It won't matter how long or how short your Must Have list is. They will far exceed your expectations.

Here's the part most people miss: this kind of connection isn't luck, and it isn't reserved for a fortunate few. It's recognizable once you know what you're actually looking for, and it's buildable once you stop settling for a relationship that only works if you keep score. If you're ready to find out what that looks like for you, a Discovery Call is the place to start. We'll talk through where you are right now and what's standing between you and the extraordinary relationship you deserve.

Blogs

#481 - What Does Extraordinary Love Look Like?

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