#452 - Extraordinary Relationships Don’t Happen by Accident
There’s a romantic idea floating around that great relationships just “click.”
That if two people are meant to be together, everything falls into place naturally. No effort. No thought. No intentionality.
But that’s not how extraordinary relationships are built.
They are built through intentional decisions and alignment. And when those are in place, something bigger often feels at work.
Let me explain.
The Myth of Chemistry
Chemistry is powerful. It feels exciting. It feels effortless.
But chemistry alone doesn’t build alignment.
Many midlife singles I speak with have had strong chemistry before. They’ve felt the spark. They’ve had the butterflies. And yet… it didn’t last.
Why?
Because attraction without alignment creates instability.
You can have emotional intensity without shared direction.
You can have passion without partnership.
You can have connection without compatibility.
An extraordinary relationship requires more than feeling. It requires intention.
Intentional Decisions Change Everything
When I talk about intentional dating, I’m not talking about rigid checklists or perfection. I’m talking about clarity.
Clarity about:
- What truly matters.
- What doesn’t.
- What you will no longer compromise on.
- And what you’re willing to grow in.
This is where your Must Have and Deal Breaker list becomes powerful. Not as a weapon. Not as a filter to reject everyone. But as a guide to stay aligned with your long-term vision.
Intentional decisions look like:
- Choosing someone who aligns with your core values, not just your personality.
- Paying attention to consistency, not just charm.
- Slowing down when you feel rushed.
- Asking meaningful questions early.
- Observing patterns instead of excusing them.
It’s less about intensity… and more about integrity.
Alignment Is the Foundation
In my coaching, I teach the Four Cornerstones of Great Relationships: Intellectual, Spiritual, Emotional, and Physical alignment.
When those areas are aligned, something shifts.
Conversations feel easy.
Conflict feels manageable.
Affection feels safe.
Future planning feels natural.
You’re not constantly negotiating core identity.
Alignment doesn’t mean you agree on everything. It means you’re moving in the same direction.
Shared faith.
Shared values.
Shared life rhythm.
Shared commitment to growth.
When alignment is missing, relationships feel like constant compromise.
When alignment is present, relationships feel like partnership.
That’s a massive difference.
And Then… Something Bigger
Here’s the part that’s harder to quantify.
When two people intentionally choose each other, and their lives are aligned in the areas that matter most, something shifts beyond strategy.
It feels steady.
It feels peaceful.
It feels purposeful.
For some, that feels like God’s hand guiding.
For others, it simply feels like deep harmony.
Either way, it doesn’t feel chaotic.
It doesn’t feel forced.
It feels right — not because it’s dramatic, but because it’s stable.
Extraordinary relationships are not built on adrenaline. They are built on agreement.
And when two people agree on who they are, what they value, and where they’re going — that’s when something bigger often feels at work.
If You’re Tired of Guessing
If you’re dating and feeling confused…
If you keep meeting people who don’t quite align…
If you’ve relied on chemistry before and paid the price…
It may not be that you’re bad at relationships.
It may simply be that you’ve never built one intentionally.
You don’t have to leave love to chance.
You don’t have to hope alignment magically appears.
You can date with clarity.
That’s exactly what I guide you through inside Dating Made Simple Academy — how to build the kind of foundation that makes extraordinary relationships possible, not accidental.
And if you’re not ready for that step yet, start with something simple.
Write your Must Have and Deal Breaker list.
Revisit the Four Cornerstones.
Ask yourself: Are we aligned… or just attracted?
Because extraordinary relationships don’t just happen.
They’re built.
And when they are, they feel different — not louder, not faster — but deeper.