#419 - How Many Dates Until You Find The One?
Have you ever said to yourself,
"I’ve been on five dates this year and nothing’s worked out. What’s wrong with me?"
Or maybe:
"I thought I’d be in a relationship by now."
If so, you’re not alone—and you’re definitely not doing it wrong. But there’s a strong chance your expectations are off.
One of the biggest sources of dating frustration isn’t rejection—it’s believing that you should have found your person by now.
The Myth That Keeps You Stuck
We’ve been conditioned by movies and pop culture to believe love is instant. Meet the right person, sparks fly, happily ever after. Simple.
But that’s not how dating works—especially in midlife.
You’re older now. Wiser. You know what you want—and what you don’t. But that clarity can also narrow your pool, which means you may have to date more people, not fewer.
If you believe that love should happen in 3 to 5 dates, you’re setting yourself up to feel like a failure when it doesn’t.
You’re Not Broken—You’re Just Learning
I’ve coached singles in their 40s, 50s, 60s—even 70s—who were frustrated because they hadn’t found “the one” after a few dates or even a few months.
Here’s what I tell them:
Dating isn’t about numbers—it’s about clarity.
Would you buy the first house you tour? Hire the first person who applies for a job? Probably not.
So why put that kind of pressure on your dating life?
✅ QUICK WIN CHALLENGE: Reframe Your Expectations
Let’s reset your mindset and give you a win right now.
Grab a sticky note or open your notes app. Write this down:
“I will date as many people as it takes to find someone emotionally healthy and aligned with my values.”
“The number of people I’ve dated does NOT define my worth.”
Place this where you’ll see it—on your mirror, desk, or phone wallpaper. Let it be a daily reminder that you’re not behind. You’re on the path.
The People Who Find Great Love Think Differently
They don’t rush. They don’t settle. They don’t count “failed” dates as wasted time.
They treat each experience as data, helping them refine their search, sharpen their standards, and strengthen their boundaries.
The question isn’t, “How many people should I date?”
The real question is, “Am I getting better at recognizing who’s right—and who’s not?”
💬 Did you do the challenge?
If so, hit reply or send me a quick message—I’d love to hear what shifted for you.
And if you’re ready for deeper clarity, let’s talk.
My free 30-minute Discovery Call will help you get unstuck and start dating with intention again.
👉 Click here to book your free call.
You’re not just dating. You’re becoming the kind of person who attracts something extraordinary.