#441 - The Art of Living Single: Mastering Solo Life While Staying Open to Love
The chicken breast package serves four. The recipe feeds six. Even your coffee maker seems designed for a couple.
If you've recently found yourself navigating single life after decades of marriage, that jarring disconnect between the world's assumptions and your reality hits you daily. And if you've been single for a while, you've probably developed some workarounds—but are they keeping you stuck or helping you grow?
Here's what I've learned after 16 years of singleness and over a decade helping midlife singles: Learning to thrive alone isn't giving up on love. It's actually preparing you for something extraordinary.
The Shopping and Cooking Challenge
"I threw out more produce than I ate this week." I hear this constantly from clients. The practical challenges of cooking for one can feel overwhelming—buying ingredients that spoil before you can use them, making recipes that mean eating the same leftovers for days, or just giving up and grabbing takeout again.
But here's the opportunity hidden in this challenge: You're finally free to discover what YOU actually like to eat. No more compromising on spice levels. No more pretending you enjoy meals you merely tolerated. This is your chance to experiment with cuisines that were vetoed before, to eat breakfast for dinner if you want, to discover whether you're actually a vegetarian at heart.
This self-discovery matters more than you might think. When you know exactly what nourishes you—literally and figuratively—you develop clarity about your Must Haves in a partner. You stop accepting relationships that leave you hungry for more.
The Emotional Landscape
The silence hits different at 6 PM. There's no one to share the "you'll never believe what happened today" moments. Every decision, from what color to paint the bedroom to whether to accept that job offer, rests solely on your shoulders. Decision fatigue is real when you're the only vote that counts.
Yet this silence creates space for something powerful: reconnection with your own voice. Many of my clients discover they'd been filtering their thoughts through their ex's reactions for so long, they'd forgotten what they actually believed. This is your chance to rebuild that emotional cornerstone—to trust your judgment again, to reconnect with your faith without someone else's interpretation, to discover what truly brings you peace.
Holidays and Milestones
Being the "odd number" at gatherings stings. Watching couples exchange glances while you sit with an empty chair beside you. Creating new meaning in celebrations that were built around being a pair. The holidays can feel like they're designed to remind you of what's missing.
But you're also free to create traditions that actually reflect your values. No more splitting holidays between families or compromising on how to celebrate. You can volunteer on Thanksgiving, travel on Christmas, or create entirely new rituals that align with your spiritual cornerstone. This isn't about making the best of a bad situation—it's about discovering what celebration means when it's authentic to you.
The Household CEO Experience
Suddenly you're responsible for everything—the lawn, the leaky faucet, the financial planning, the car maintenance. There's no division of labor anymore. It's all you, all the time. The weight of total responsibility can feel crushing.
Yet every skill you're building makes you a more capable partner for the future. You're proving you don't NEED someone to rescue you—which means when you choose someone, it'll be because you WANT them, not because you can't function alone. That's the difference between settling and choosing extraordinary love. Your intellectual cornerstone expands with each challenge you conquer.
The Hidden Gifts
Living single offers treasures you might be overlooking: uninterrupted time for reflection, freedom to explore new interests without negotiation, the ability to keep your home exactly as you like it, and space to heal without performing "being okay" for anyone else.
You're strengthening yourself in all four areas that matter for future partnership—growing intellectually through new challenges, deepening spiritually through solitary reflection, building emotional resilience through self-reliance, and taking care of your physical health on your own schedule. Every day you're single, you're becoming clearer about your Deal Breakers and Must Haves. You're not learning to be alone forever; you're learning to be whole.
Your Bridge to the Future
This season of singleness isn't your ending—it's your preparation. Every challenge you're facing is building strength, clarity, and wisdom that will serve you in your next relationship. You're not just surviving single life; you're using it to ensure you never settle for less than extraordinary again.
The skills you're building—from cooking for one to making solo decisions—aren't just practical necessities. They're creating a foundation of self-sufficiency that allows you to choose love from a place of strength, not need. That's when extraordinary becomes possible.
Ready to discover what might be standing between you and the extraordinary love you deserve? Click here to tate the quiz: "What's Really Standing Between You and the Relationship You Deserve?" and get personalized insights about your next steps toward extraordinary love.