#459 - You Make Your Worst Relationship Decisions Early
Why did you get married in the first place?
And why did you start dating again after your divorce?
Those are uncomfortable questions… but they’re honest ones.
If you’re being truthful, the answer usually isn’t as logical as you’d like it to be. Most of the time, it comes down to attraction—physical, intellectual, or emotional. Something about that person made you feel something. And in the beginning, that feeling can be powerful.
But here’s the part most people don’t stop to consider…
That feeling isn’t clarity.
It’s infatuation.
And infatuation has a way of quietly taking over your decision-making process. It feels exciting. It feels hopeful. It feels like something you don’t want to lose. So instead of slowing down and evaluating what’s actually in front of you, you move forward based on how it feels in the moment.
And for a while… that works.
But somewhere between six months and two years, something begins to shift. The intensity fades. The blind spots start to clear. And that’s when many people wake up and ask themselves a difficult question:
“What am I doing here?”
The problem is… by that point, there’s already investment.
Time.
Emotion.
Energy.
And now the relationship keeps moving forward—not because it’s right, but because it feels easier than starting over. There’s comfort in what’s familiar. There’s a reluctance to walk away from something you’ve already poured so much into.
That’s where people get stuck.
Not because they didn’t see anything early on…
But because they didn’t slow down enough to evaluate what they were seeing.
There’s a reason for that.
Affairs of the heart can blind even the most well-intentioned person.
And when you’re in that state, you’re not making clear decisions—you’re making emotional ones.
That’s why this matters.
Because the decisions you make early… are the ones you end up living with later.
Not the ones you wish you had made.
Not the ones you eventually realize you should have made.
The ones you actually made when things were just getting started.
That’s how people find themselves months—or even years—into something that was never really right for them… trying to repair something that probably should have never begun in the first place.
So here’s what this means for you—
It’s simple… but not always easy.
Slow the beginning down.
Instead of asking, “How do I feel about them?”
Start asking, “Is this right for me?”
That’s where your Must Have and Deal Breaker list becomes more than just an exercise—it becomes a filter.
It helps you step back from the emotional pull of infatuation and look at what’s actually there. Are your core values aligned? Are there red flags you’re explaining away? Are you seeing consistency… or just potential?
Because potential is one of the most expensive things to build a relationship on.
When you make better decisions early… you don’t have to spend months—or years—trying to fix what was broken from the very beginning.
And that doesn’t just save time.
It protects your energy, your clarity, and ultimately… your ability to build the kind of relationship you actually want.
If you’ve ever found yourself wondering why things keep ending the same way… it’s worth asking:
What decisions did you make at the beginning…
when you weren’t thinking clearly?
That’s where the real answer usually is.
And if you’re starting to see that pattern in your own dating life…
that’s exactly where the right kind of guidance can make all the difference.
If you want help getting clear on what you’re really looking for—and how to make better decisions early so you don’t repeat the same cycle—
I offer a free 30-minute Discovery Call.
It’s a chance to talk through where you are, what’s been happening, and what might need to change—so you can start moving toward the kind of relationship you actually want.