#359 - One year ends and a new one begins.
The year end is always a time of reflection for me. Where did I start the year, where did I end it, and what happened in between?
This year I reflected on several past relationships including my marriage and I looked at how I’ve evolved in the past 30 years. To me, some of my life has been pretty impressive and yet there are parts that are pretty cringe worthy.
I admit that as a husband I had some glaring faults including some mild anger issues. Oh, I didn’t go around breaking things or putting my fist through a door or wall. I had a temper and I’ve come to realize it was a learned behavior from my father…who learned it from his father.
Over the past 15 years I’ve really started to mellow, much more so in the past two or three years. It’s been a gradual process. I’ve come to realize that we have no control over most things in life. And the things we do have control over are pretty much limited to ourselves.
I couldn’t control my Ex, my daughter, my friends or my family. I could only control me. It wasn’t until I was about 52 years old that I started to take control of MY emotions. I started to take control of my happiness. I started to recognize that all the negativity in the people around me, especially my father, had to be removed.
There were friends and acquaintances that I just stopped calling or connecting with. I had to distance myself from most of my family for a whole host of reasons. Did this hurt? You bet it did.
But the amazing thing is that as I moved the negativity out of my life, it made room for a lot more positivity to move in. I’ve been able to change my inner circle of friends and I’m much more selective about who I become friends with.
I’ve also become much more selective about the women I date. After coaching singles for more than 10 years now, it’s much easier to see the importance of developing strong and deep connections with the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
In the early days of dating after my divorce, I would date anyone that looked cute and paid a little bit of attention to me. Now, I have to have some substance to a relationship. We have to be on the same page spiritually, politically, and share similar morals and values.
Being single (divorced) for the past 14 years was never my intent or my goal. In fact, when I was going through my divorce, I just knew that within 9 months, I would be with my soul mate and creating a new life, new memories, and living happily ever after.
Back then I had no idea what a learning and growth curve I was about to embark on. In fact, I’m still learning every day. That’s just how life works. If you want to move forward, you have to be continually learning.
My goal this year is to share what I’ve learned and make an impact on just one person a day. Right now, that seems like a pretty audacious goal. Just think about it though. That means 366 (it’s leap year) mid-life singles freeing themselves from a toxic relationship, or to avoid those relationships from the beginning, and actually go on their last first date!
I’d love for you to join me on this quest. If you’ve already worked with me either through my book, online course, or 1-on-1 coaching, who do you know that is open to making better relationship choices this year?
If we haven’t worked together yet, what can I do to help you with your dating and relationship life so it can be the best it can be in 2024? Email or message me to schedule a time to talk.
That’s if for today. In the meantime,