#89 - Self-respect: confidence that one deserves love, success, and happiness.

Do you believe that you deserve love, success and happiness?  Hopefully your answer is yes.  But if it isn’t, why don’t you believe you are deserving?  What beliefs do you have that are limiting the quality of love, success and happiness?

Sometimes our self-respect is limited due to deep emotional issues that have not been addressed.  It could be from growing up in a dysfunctional and abusive family.  Maybe it comes from some poor choices of people you date and bad relationships you got into.  It could come from mistakes made at work or even the loss of a job.  Regardless of your situation, building (or rebuilding) your self-respect is necessary to find love, success and happiness.

In some cases, professional counseling or therapy may be called for.  Other times our limited self-respect can be altered by the words we use.  Many times, just by changing the words we use from negative to positive, we can make a significant change in our lives.  We can change our level of happiness and success and we can change the quality of love in our lives.

Let me give you some of examples of the impact of changing a couple of words can have.  Let’s start with the statement “I have to go to work.”  As it is phrased, you put yourself in a mindset that you are being forced to do something.  No, you don’t have to go to work.  You can stay home, you can play golf, you can go shopping or you can stay in bed all day.  Try changing the statement to “I choose to go to work.”  By simply changing one word you can change your attitude and even the way you view your work.  Why?  Because now it is something that you choose to do and are not being forced to do.

Here is another example.  “I’m not smart (pretty, strong, fast, rich or any other word you choose) enough.”  Are you sure?   Maybe you are smart enough.  It just takes you more time to find the right answer than other people.  Maybe you are rich enough right now.  You just aren’t where you want to be financially.  This just means that you haven’t had enough time or found the right resources to create your desired level of wealth.  You get my point.  By shifting your thought process from negative to positive, you create a different outlook on your situation and will start to find better results in whatever you are trying to accomplish.  Again, this can have a big impact on your self-respect.

Finally, let’s look at love and the thought “I don’t deserve to be loved.”  Why don’t you deserve to be loved?  Are you evil?  Hateful?  Most likely not!  However, you may have been told by parents or people you respected that you are not worthy of love, that you’re not lovable or “who would want to love you?”  If you have hurtful, hateful people in your life, it may be time to do some spring cleaning.  Removing these negative influences and replacing them with positive influencers will go a long way to regaining your self-respect.

Instinctively, most of know the difference between right and wrong.  When we willfully, violate our instincts, we damage our self-respect.  Staying focused on what is right will build up and re-enforce your self-respect.  The important thing to remember is self-respect doesn’t come from outside of us.  All the accolades, rewards, compliments, etc. are only superficial and fleeting.  Self-respect can only come from within.

Feel free to share your comments and experiences.  Please Like and Share this with your friends.