#86 - Letting go of a great relationship to find extraordinary love
One of the hardest things to do is to let go of a great relationship and to make yourself available for extraordinary love. I can hear the critics already! “Why would you give up on a great relationship in hopes of something better?” Answer; “Because I’m not willing to settle for less than extraordinary love!”
Our inability to let go of this relationship anchors us in a place we wish to escape. We know the relationship isn’t extraordinary so we live with the fact that it is not exactly what we want. We can spend years…even a lifetime in this relationship all the while knowing it isn’t the best we could have.
If we truly desire an extraordinary relationship, a soul mate, we first have to know what we want. There are plenty of arguments to suggest that we need to leave our relationship choices to God, serendipity or whatever randomness you choose to believe. However, without a clear thought of what you seek in a relationship you can never (or rarely) find extraordinary. Why? Because you wouldn’t recognize it if you saw it! As for God, He knows what you need and want. But, if you’re not clear about it, you will miss it every time.
Eventually we have to come to grips with the fact that no matter how good (or even great) our current relationship is, if it isn’t extraordinary we are settling for less than we truly desire. The biggest hurdle I find in relationships is that often times we don’t believe we can have everything we want. Another argument I hear often is that the person we seek doesn’t exist. We need to set ourselves free from this line of thinking to be able to find our soul mate.
When we shop for a car, most of us spend a lot of time figuring out exactly what we are looking for. We spend more time planning a vacation than we do trying to figure out what we want in a relationship. Vacations are events that will only last a week or two. Cars are things that we will have for only a few years. A serious long-term relationship is something that should last for a lifetime. Yet, sadly, most people never invest the time to know and understand what they are looking for in a relationship.
How do we change this pattern? We have to learn to take a more active roll in our dating lives. We have to learn to date consciously and with purpose. What does dating consciously and with purpose mean? It means spending time writing down the key characteristics or ‘Must Haves” that your extraordinary mate will have. Why write these things down? You want to have them handy so you can review them often and not get caught up in infatuation or loose sight of what is truly important to you in a relationship. We also have to spend time and actively seek out our extraordinary mate. We cannot sit at home waiting for the right person to magically appear on our doorstep. We have to be out and about being social, doing things that interest us and that put us in places to be seen and found by that special someone. It takes time and effort on your part and you will eventually be rewarded.
The questions is; Are you patient enough to wait for your soul mate? Or, are you going to settle for less than extraordinary?