#41 - What kind of first impression are you making?

Are you calm and confident? Or, are you nervous and unsettled? Are you being shy and quiet? Or, are you rambling on endlessly about your problems, your ex, or about what a great catch you are?


These are just a few of the types of first impressions that people can make. Why are first impressions important? Well, first of all, you only get one chance to make a first impression with someone. This is the impression or image that someone has of you that is usually lasting. Once we form an impression of someone, it is usually very hard to change. If we meet someone that leaves a poor first impression, we are not likely to want to associate with that person in the future. A good first impression is usually the difference between having just one conversation or date and having a lifetime of conversations and a deep personal relationship.


“So, how do I make a good impression?” you ask. This is a great question! There are a number of variables including physical appearance and personality types. However, there are some basic rules that apply to everyone.


1) Smile! Putting a smile on your face automatically makes you feel better regardless of what mood you are in. It also tends to put the people around you in a better mood too. Most people are more attractive when they smile.


2) Learn to ask open ended questions. Open ended questions are those that cannot be answered with yes, no or a simple one word answer. For example; “Do you have children?” vs. “Tell me about your family.” “Did you enjoy your childhood?” vs. “What are some of your favorite memories as a child?” “What to you do for a living?” vs. “What is the favorite part of your career?”


3) Learn to listen. After you learn to ask great questions, learn to listen. Listening means to hear what the other person has to say without focusing on your reply or your next question. By listening well, you will more than likely come up with better questions based on what the other person has said.


4) Make eye contact during your conversation both when you are speaking and when you are listening. It lets the other person know that you are paying attention to them. If your eyes are continually wandering around the room, the other person will feel like they are a distraction to you and soon lose interest in you. If you are continually looking down, they are going to get the impression that you may have self-esteem issues or lack self confidence.


5) Learn to give a firm hand shake. This applies to both men and women. Nothing radiates confidence like a firm hand shake. Nothing radiates wispiness or lack of confidence better than a weak hand shake. Men, you don’t need to use a bone crushing handshake either. If you feel you need to show dominance, do it with your intellect and not physical strength.


These are just a few key points to help you make a good first impression. There are many others but this should be a good starting point for most people. If you have questions, feel free to write to us on Facebook, on our blog at, or at [email protected].