Are you available or just pretending?

#362 - Why do you think you’re having trouble dating?

Why do you think you’re having trouble dating? What’s really keeping you single?

When I ask these questions of Discouraged Mid-life Singles I get very similar answers from both men and women and it’s usually one of two things.

  1. There’s more men than women to go around or vice versa. Or another way of saying it is “All the good ones are taken.”
  2. Why is it so hard to find love when you’re independent?

Then, I’ll ask these same people “what is one or maybe two things you can do to change your situation?” I’ve even offered free coaching!

The response I get is complete silence! That tells me one thing and I think it’s quite prevalent in today’s world of dating. No one seems to want to take responsibility for their actions (or lack of them) and their corresponding results.

Dating is not a spectator sport! It takes time and effort and sometimes it takes massive effort.

I’ve found in life that nothing worthwhile is easy and nothing easy is worthwhile!

Most people I talk to have six or fewer dates per year and they’re discouraged that they haven’t found their soul mate. If you’re really serious about wanting to be in a solid, healthy relationship you have to be ready to do what it takes to make it happen.

All of the excuses in the world will never get you one step closer to finding your ideal relationship. When you tell me there are more women than men available yet can’t or won’t come up with one thing you can do to change your situation, you’re telling me you’re not serious and only want to complain…because that’s the easy thing to do.

If you were offered $10,000,000 and the only thing you had to do to claim it was to move halfway across the country. Would you do it? If you said yes, that’s awesome. Now, substitute the $10,000,000 for your soul mate.

Would you still do it? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life in the relationship of your dreams?

I don’t have an EASY button for you. Finding an extraordinary partner is not easy. It takes time and effort. I’m not suggesting that you have to move halfway across the country to make it happen but you will have to think outside the box.

What are some of the things your soul mate might enjoy doing? Where are they going to hang out? You have to put in some effort to explore these possibilities.

Maybe you need to spend some time at the shooting range. Learn to sail, snow ski, golf, take dance lessons, take a singles cruise, or take cooking lessons. Participate in social groups, charity events, or community sponsored events.

Don’t discount hanging out at a bar if they have some great music. Music still brings a lot of people together. The same thing goes for dating sights. If you learn to use them properly, they can be a great resource for meeting people you wouldn’t normally meet in your daily walk through life. Heck, you might even find your soul mate there!

If you want to make 2024 your year to find your soul mate, you’ll have to do some things differently than what you’ve done in the past. You’ll need to think differently too!

Are you ready to commit to doing something different this year or will you continue to make excuses about why you can’t find anyone to date?

That's today's food for thought.

If this sounds like you and you'd like to transition from being a Discouraged Mid-life Single to one half of a Soul Connected Couple, message me or send me an email. Let's talk and see if I can help you get your dating life moving in the right direction.