#284 - You're smarter than you pretend to be!
You’re much smarter than you pretend to be!
This is a lesson I’ve had to learn a couple of times in my life. One of the most memorable of my life changing moments was the day I stood up to my father and refuse to be called stupid and idiot.
A second incredible life altering time happened at the end of 2019 when I decided to stop fighting with my myself. I stopped telling myself that I didn’t want to learn how to create Facebook ads.
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Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.
This is a lesson that keeps beating me over the head every time I try to do something new.
When you tell yourself that you can’t do something, you’re absolutely right. Even if you try, you’ll undoubtedly fail because you’ve already convinced yourself that you’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, handsome enough, fast enough, etc., etc., etc.
There will always be someone more handsome, more beautiful, smarter, faster, or better at something than you. But, who are you trying to impress…them, or you?
When you think you can, you’re right!
When you take on the mindset that you can do whatever it is you want to do, your brain will help you find a way.
With very few exceptions, there’s not much you can’t do if you set your mind to it. For years I’ve told myself that I’m not mechanically inclined and have always admired people that were.
Yet, this year I took on the mechanical challenge of my lifetime…trying to repair a 51-year-old boat engine and ultimately replacing it on my own. What I discovered is that there is a wealth of information to be had out there.
Find mentors and others to help you.
You don’t have to do anything on your own these days. It’s so easy to find people to help you just by searching the internet.
Google and YouTube are two of the greatest sources of information that are literally right at your fingertips.
Asking successful people for help is another great resource. And what I mean by successful is finding people that have already done what you want to do. Just talking to a variety of people will give you a wealth of information to choose from.
Your job then becomes one of picking and choosing which information is best for you.
How does this apply to dating and relationship?
That’s easy! Contrary to what you might think, you’re not the first one to go through your situation. Many people have already beat you to it.
Find them. Learn from them. Use their experience to help you move forward. If you’re shy and find it hard to make new friends, search out resources that will help you become more comfortable meeting strangers.
If you have a problem having difficult conversations, there are books for that. One good book I recently read is How to Have That Difficult Conversation by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.
If you struggle with getting a date check out How to Get a Date Worth Keeping also by Henry Cloud.
If you’re struggling with being a Christian single in today’s society, check out Kingdom Single by Dr. Tony Evens.
There are so many great resources to choose from.
Personal coaching can be a great resource for some. A good coach will help you get unstuck and guide to a better decision-making process for your life.
I offer personal and group coaching and if my direct coaching style doesn’t work for you, there are plenty of others out there to help you.
The important point is that you can do anything that you set your mind to. You may not be the best at it. You may not be the fastest at it. None of that matters though as long as you are doing it.
A simple change in mindset in just one area can lead to a whole new world of love and happiness if you let it. The decision is always yours. You get to choose how to live your life.
As a very dear friend says, #TGIT, Thank God It’s Today. You have the choice to make life happen or to just go with the flow. You have the choice to find the love of your life or to settle.
If you’ve already experienced an extraordinary relationship, you are ahead of 90% of everyone else. Don’t limit your thinking that it can only happen once. We all have more than one soul mate. For you, it’s a matter of finding the next one.
I hope I’ve given you some food for thought to help you make healthier relationship decisions.
Please feel free share your thoughts, your successes, and your missteps to help others get better one step at a time. Leave a comment below or drop me an email at [email protected].