#267 - 10 things a woman looks for in a man

communication connection dating hygiene respect starting over

This is part two of a two-part series on what men and women are looking for in a mate. While this may be fairly broad in scope, my research and personal experience show that these are some of the key traits that women look for in men for a great relationship.

Men, it’s time for you to take a look through the lens of what women look for in a great guy.

You can look at virtually any woman’s online dating profile and you’re bound to see the word honesty in the description of what she’s looking for. If it’s not there it will be one of the first things that comes up when you ask what she’s looking for in a relationship.

Looking for an honest partner isn’t limited to just women. That’s something we all should want. However, it seems that men have a harder time with being honest than women do.

When men lie, it’s often to look bigger – taller, richer, more powerful and more sexually attractive. They tend to “inflate” the numbers by saying they make more money than they do, are taller than they are and have had more sexual partners than is factual.

Men are also more likely to lie to save face when they get caught. I don’t care how good you think you are at hiding things; you’re going to get caught sooner or later so why not just be honest from the beginning.

Honesty IS the best policy. You can’t build a healthy relationship on a foundation of lies.

Women want to be respected just like men. They don’t want to be your play toy or someone that you only think about occasionally. They want to be able to share their ideas, thoughts, and opinions without being put down.

Women think differently that men and just because they do, doesn’t mean they’re wrong. It’s quite the opposite. I find that women are right more often than not.

I dated a woman several years ago and she was a very analytical thinker. I’m more of a creative thinker.

She would get so frustrated with me because I didn’t think like she did, but she was also amazed that we usually came to the same conclusion. We just got there via different paths.

I always respected her opinion whether we agreed or not.

Women like a man to be confident in who he is, what he does, and in their relationships.

Here are some important characteristics of a confident man. He will speak well, carries himself well, makes strong eye contact, takes pride in his accomplishments and remains humble.

He listens well, is assertive but not aggressive, has an open mind, expresses gratitude, doesn’t take criticism personally, makes decisions, apologizes easily, and behaves like a gentleman.

Watch for a blog on confidence coming soon.

Financially Stable and Responsible
If you’re looking for a great woman, make sure you’re financially stable and responsible with your resources.  Notice that I didn’t say you have to be wealthy. She may even have more money than you and that’s okay.

She just doesn’t want to be your sugar mama. This means that you need to have a job or have planned well for retirement.

There are times that life just doesn’t go the way we expected, and you may not be as financially set as you’d like to be. Death of a spouse and divorce can wreak havoc on your finances.

Take responsibility for your contributions to those issues and show that you can continue to get back on your feet.

A Sense of Humor
This is another nearly universal truth. Women love to laugh and if you can get them laughing and giggling you have some instant attraction.

Keep it clean. In today’s world of vulgarity laced humor, show some class and clean up your jokes and stories.

If you’re unsure how to do that, go back and watch some of the greatest comedians of the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s.

People like Bob Hope, Flip Wilson, Rich Little, Bob Newhart, Jonathan Winters, Mel Brooks, Johnny Carson, Red Skelton, and so many others were able to make us laugh without vulgarity.

Guys, this is huge! Communication is so important to women. Not only do they want you to listen and hear them, they want you to share what’s going on with you.

Men, we’re generally not wired this way. When a woman starts talking and telling us her problems, she wants us to listen. She doesn’t want you to go into “fix-it” mode. Just shut up and let her talk.

Usually, she is solving her own problems as she talks them out. She just needs a sympathetic ear from you. If she wants your input, she’ll ask. If you’re unsure, ask this simple question. Do you want my help, or do you just want me to listen?

Learn to be open with her and share your day, your frustrations, your fears, your joys, and your successes. If she’s with you, she wants to be a part of your world, good and bad. Stop bottling things up and not letting her into your world.

Like I said last week, intelligence is sexy. Just as men like an intelligent woman, women love an intelligent man. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist or some world class intellectual.

You don’t have to have a college degree. In fact, some of the smartest people I know never went to college. It’s not all about book smarts. Street smarts can be just as attractive as a college degree.

The key is to always be learning. Always be reading and growing your knowledge base. Read about things other than sports, hunting and fishing, or the stock market. Read some for knowledge and some for enjoyment.

Be more well rounded in your life. If you don’t particularly like to read, try Audible or get books on CD at the library. Use them to fill your time while you’re driving to and from work.

I’m not talking about the equal rights movement or any other social-political movement. I’m talking about equality in a relationship. Women want to be an equal partner in a relationship.

They want to be part of the decision-making process especially when it comes to major decisions such as investments, where to live, what to drive, and where to go on vacation.

They may actually defer to you on some things because they truly don’t have an interest, but they appreciate being kept in the loop when you’re making major life choices.

Cleanliness and Hygiene
This can be a whole blog on its own, so I’ll try to be concise. Guys, learn to do laundry and iron. If you don’t have time, take your clothes to the cleaners.

There’s nothing quite as impressive as a man that takes care of himself and looks like he is put together. If you need help in choosing what to wear, seek a men’s stylist or at the very least a lady friend to help you put outfits together.

Learn what looks good with what.

Take time to take care of the personal stuff. Brush and floss your teeth, shower before a date, shave, trim your eyebrows, ears and nose, and run a comb through your hair.

She’ll notice the effort you put into you appearance and hygiene.

This is that magic sauce that every woman looks for in a relationship. It’s the glue that that holds the relationship together through thick and thin. It’s part biological, part emotional, and part physical.

When it’s the right connection, it creates a bond that is hard to break. And if things to go awry, it creates an emotional upheaval in one or both of you.

This is the feeling of connection that really can’t be described in words. Either it’s there, or it isn’t.

Gentlemen, today I hope I’ll inspire you to look at yourself through the lens of what good women are looking for. Take this as a challenge to make changes that will make you more attractive to the type of woman you’re looking for. Let me know how you’re doing by leave a comment below or drop me an email at [email protected].

Have a great and blessed day!