#266 - The 8 things men look for in a woman

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This is part one of a two-part series. This week I’ll share key traits that men typically look for in a woman. Next week I’ll share key traits that women look for in men.

So often I hear that there are no good men or no good women left. This is a very broad generalization and comes from your personal experience.

Some of the big questions that comes to my mind are, how datable are you? Are you someone that can attract the right guy? Are you someone you’d love to date?

If you’re really honest with yourself, your answer is probably No. Why? Most of us get into a rut the older we get and the longer we’re single.

Many of you stop reading and stop learning. A few of you are still old school and think that men aren’t interested in an intelligent woman. I’ll dispel that myth in a couple minutes.

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Let’s shed some light on what men are really looking for.
Ladies, here are some things to be aware of as you date. These are some of the traits that men really do look for in great a relationship.

Be reliable and responsible – Be on time. There is almost nothing less attractive than a woman that cannot be ready on time. In general, it shows a lack of respect for his time and poor time management on your part.

Be a woman of your word. Do what you say you’re going to do. Follow through. There’s nothing harder for a man to deal with than someone he can’t count on.

Be responsible for your life and your finances. Life is going to hand you hardships from time to time. Take responsibility for taking care of yourself and getting back on track.

A man doesn’t mind helping you up in true times of need, but if it’s a regular problem, he’ll quickly tire of it and be gone soon. You need to learn to be good with money, maybe even better than he is. That will show him that you can be a great partner and a great asset in his life.

Have a sense of humor – Being able to laugh and have fun is so attractive to guys. Be someone that can see humor in most situations. Learn to tell a good joke without blowing the punchline. Learn to laugh at his jokes even if they’re bad dad jokes.

Be respectful and supportive – Respect generally needs to be earned. As you get to know him you can be a great asset in his life. Don’t argue in public and don’t talk about him behind his back.

One of the fastest ways to destroy a relationship is to have him find out that you criticize and complain about him when he’s not around.

Guys want and need to be supported in their efforts to create a better life for themselves and for you. If he has no support from those around him you will destroy his desire to thrive and grow.

He has dreams, and goals just like you. Don’t be the bucket of cold water that gets thrown on him that will put out the flames of his passion. You can play devils advocate to make sure he’s looking at all things realistically, but don’t destroy his dreams.

Intelligence is sexy – The image of guys liking the ditzy woman is more often a Hollywood stereo type. Most men are looking for someone that can have an intelligent, respectful conversation with them.

Take time to get to know what he’s passionate about. It doesn’t mean you have to be passionate about it too but learn about what he likes so you can have an intelligent conversation about it.

Bring your own smarts to the table. Be intellectually challenging to him. Not in a disrespectful way but make him think. There’s nothing sexier than a woman that can carry on a good conversation especially if it’s about something he’s passionate about.

Be confident – Self-confidence is super sexy. Your self-confidence shows that you can take care of yourself. It shows your man that you deserve to be with him.

When you have self-confidence, you won’t feel the need to compare yourself to any of the other women in his past. You’ll make the effort to take care of yourself physically and emotionally.

You’ll also practice self-compassion which means that you’ll treat yourself with kindness if you make a mistake or fail at something.

Be independent – Don’t be a clinger. There is little that is more annoying than someone that is needy and cannot do anything on their own. Have your own interests and friends. It also helps if you’re financially stable so that you don’t need him to take care of you.

This sets you up to want him and not need him, and that’s a much better way to date and grow into a relationship.

Be goal oriented – Have goals of your own. They don’t have to be world changing, life altering goals. They can be as simple as making sure you have the house clean each week or making a meal for an elderly neighbor.

They just have to be things that you’re passionate about. Remember, great guys like to be cheerleaders too!

Have a positive outlook – There is nothing harder to do than to spend time with someone that is always negative. When there’s always something wrong in your life and life isn’t treating you fairly, you are a huge turn off to the great guys that are available.

I’ve found that most people that are unhappy all the time create their own drama and wonder why life doesn’t get any better. It’s their way for them to get attention that they don’t think they can get any other way. Don’t be that person!

Learn how to smile each and every day.

Ladies, today I hope I’ll inspire you to look at yourself through the lens of what good men are looking for. Take this as a challenge to make changes that will make you more attractive to the type of man you’re looking for. Let me know how you’re doing by leave a comment below or drop me an email at [email protected].