#215 - It takes a little courage

It takes courage to get what you want and to change your life.

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You won’t get that promotion, get that new job, or get the man (or woman) of your dreams without a little courage. I’m not talking about the courage of a soldier on the battlefield. I’m talking about normal everyday courage.

This is the courage to ask your boss for a raise, submit your resume’ for a new job, or pick up the phone and ask her (or him) for a date. Yes ladies, it is okay for you to ask a man out.

Ladies, I know some of you want to throw a brick at your computer right now. You think the man should pursue you. And that’s okay. But, the wussification of men over the past 50 years has gone a long way in sapping the courage out of a lot of men.

And, with the #MeToo movement of the past couple of years, it has made things even tougher for the good guys out there.

Let me give you a hint, guys!
If she’s communicating with you, she’s interested. Just ask her out! It’s time to step up to the plate and develop some everyday courage.

I know, we don’t read minds but, if you like her and she’s talking to you, odds are in your favor that if you ask her out, she’ll say yes!

My suggested preference is to ask her out in person, second best is to make a phone call and ask her out. Texting her does feel safer because she can’t say “No” directly to you. This is where everyday courage comes into play.

This is where you just need to take a deep breath and make the call!

We ALL have a million reasons to not ask or to not call. What if she says no? What if she laughs at me? I’m just too busy right now to ask. She’s talking to someone else and I don’t want to interrupt her conversation.

And on, and on it goes. It only takes one reason to ask…I like her and I’d like to get to know her better.

Ladies, you too can step out in everyday courage.
As I mentioned earlier, you can ask the guy out. Or, you can ask him to dance. Rather than wait for a guy to ask you out or ask you to dance or whatever else you’d like to do, pick up the phone and ask. Or better yet, ask him in person!

If you’re somewhat shy, this can be a huge challenge for you. Let me assure you, I’ve been where you are. I still get a bit nervous when I call a woman for the first time, but as soon as I do, my nerves settle down.

Is every conversation going to go the way you’d like? Absolutely not! But, that’s how you learn. It’s how you grow in your ability to talk to people you don’t really know.

Couples, you also need courage especially when it comes to having “adult” conversations.
What do I mean by “adult” conversations? Well, it’s certainly not talking about sex, although that can be a very sensitive subject to talk about. I’m talking about the hard conversations that most people would rather avoid and just not talk about.

It’s about discussing anything that neither of you really want to talk about, whether it’s about being monogamous, alcohol or drug issues, financial issues, living arrangements, marriage or anything else you find difficult to discuss.

It’s about talking about the elephant in the room! Nobody wants to acknowledge there’s an issue that’s causing problems in your relationship. Yet, it’s there…and the sooner you address it, the sooner you can resolve it.

The key to great communication here is to keep the conversation positive and avoid making accusatory statements that include “you always” or “you never”. It can be especially helpful when you start a tough conversation with “I feel <fill in the blank> when you do <fill in the blank>.”

Or, “I’d like to talk about <fill in the blank> and get your <thoughts, feelings, ideas> and see if we can come to some agreement or try to work this out.”

It’s not easy to share your feelings and concerns with your mate. You’re probably afraid of how they may react to what you have to say…especially if it’s a sensitive subject.

This is where you need to use your everyday courage. It’s also where you need use your good communication skills.

To help make part of this process a little easier, next week I’ll share some tips on the 5 Second Rule. It could have an amazing impact not only on your dating life, but the rest of your life as well.

I hope today’s topic is helpful. Join me next week for It Only Takes 5 Seconds To Change Your Life when I’ll share a simple technique I’ve learned and use daily to help me with everything from getting out of bed to doing some of my most dreaded projects.

Please check out my Facebook page, Rick Soetebier – Relationship Coach. When you click the Like button, also make sure you click the See First button so that you see my daily tips, insights, and inspirations in your news feed.

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Thanks for joining me today! Have a great and blessed day!