#212 - The 4 connections of Great Relationships

For the next four weeks I’d like to cover the basics or the foundation of really great relationships. These are what I call the Four Cornerstones. They are the Intellectual Connection, Spiritual Connection, Emotional Connection, and Physical Connection.

I’ll take one cornerstone each week and talk about the characteristics of each and how it affects you and your relationship. Each cornerstone is like a leg of the table below and each has an integral part to play in the stability and foundation of a great relationship.

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Developing your intellectual cornerstone takes a little time.
The intellectual cornerstone or connection is not necessarily about education. It can be, but it’s so much more than that. It is more about thinking along the same lines politically, financially, and socially.

Does this mean you need to like exactly the same things? Absolutely not. What it does mean is that you can have great conversations about very difficult subjects or just talk about mundane, everyday things and be on the same page.

It also allows you to have great communication. There is a respect for each other’s intellect, for each other’s experience, and for each other’s opinions. You are supportive of each other’s hobbies and interests.

One of the best examples I can share is when I met my first soul mate…and yes, I believe you can have more than one in your lifetime. As we got to know each other, she shared some of the things she was passionate about. I chuckled and said that she was on her own. I would never be involved with such a frivolous activity.

As it turned out, I found myself becoming involved in a peripheral supportive role. As I learned more about this activity, I came to appreciate all that was involved, things that most people would never know or understand unless they did get involved.

As our connection grew I took more and more interest in her likes, desires, and passions simply because they were important to her. If it made her happy, it made me happy and I was more than willing to be supportive.

Likewise, she was very supportive of my dreams, goals and desires.

To this day, I still maintain a passing interest because of what she taught me.

The connection is stronger than you can imagine!
I believe that when you’re with your soul mate, your intellectual connection is so strong that you learn to understand you mate intimately and this knowledge seems to come fairly quickly. I think it’s because you tend to pay attention to more of the details from early on.

Does this mean you’ll understand every facet of each other’s life and come to know everything that he or she knows? Not at all. You will, however, have a greater understanding of this person than virtually anyone else, including family and friends.

Intellectual knowledge is not necessarily acquired. It can almost feel intuitive in nature, like you’ve known each other for a lifetime.

Have you ever met someone that just seems to get you right from the beginning?
You get each other’s jokes and sense of humor. You understand and may even share similar backgrounds or interests. From time to time, as you get older, you’ll cross paths with people like this.

You may connect with a person in an instant, maybe only on the intellectual level. You get the feeling that they could have been a part of your life for years but have only recently arrived. These connections are unique rare and should be cherished.

When you discover this connection with someone in conjunction with the other three cornerstones, you have the potential for the foundation of an extraordinary relationship.

When you have this connection with your soul mate, it elevates your relationship to a whole new level…one that you will marvel at. You’re both individuals, but together you become so much more.

The intellectual cornerstone allows you to look at your mate and instinctively understand where they’re coming from and there doesn’t have to be much of an explanation. You know what they’re thinking or where he or she is going with their thoughts.

You’re not carbon copies of each other, but unique individuals who are different and connected in an extraordinary way. In my book Dating Backward, we describe this connection in a math formula 1+1+110 .

This is the type of relationship you should be seeking!

If you need help recognizing what a healthy relationship should look like, check out my blog #220 – The 8 Key Element of an Extraordinary Relationship. Then, request your copy of The 5 Biggest Dating and Relationship Mistakes and How to Avoid Them. This will help you recognize red flags of poor relationship more quickly.

If you really want a deeper look at great dating and relationship skills, order a copy of my book Dating Backward. It’s available on my website or on

I hope today’s topic is helpful. For more information like this check out my other blogs and videos right here at

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Have a great and blessed day!