#21 - Where is the romance?

We have all heard the stories of couples that have lost the romance in their marriage or relationship. “He doesn’t take me out anymore like he did when we were first dating.” “She doesn’t put on make-up or do her hair and doesn’t dress up any more.” These are common complaints from couples, both married and dating.


Why do we hear these comments? Because we have stopped trying to impress our mate. We get complacent and fall into a rut with life’s daily routines. It really doesn’t take much to maintain the romance in a relationship. Maintaining the romance can be as simple as having a date night every couple of weeks, going dancing once a month, or just maintaining a routine of doing something different on a regular basis.


It can be more difficult to re-ignite the romance in a relationship if it has died out. Usually when the romance has died out, you have developed patterns or habits that will need to be changed. Changing a poor habit or routine is always more difficult than maintaining a good habit. We often resist change because we are comfortable with the status quo. But, if you want to re-ignite the romance in your relationship, you need to make the effort to do something different. Do something fun. If you can’t initially agree on what to do, each of you choose one thing. If she wants to go dancing and he wants to go to a ball game, make the effort to accommodate your mate. I usually prefer that ladies go first so, men, do what your lady would like to do first. Then ladies, do what your man would like to do.


The key is to first talk about what you would like to do. Then plan it together, put it on your calendars and keep your commitments to each other. It’s not as much about what you do as it is about doing something together. Finally, enjoy your time together. That is what this time should be all about.