Over the past couple of weeks I’ve had the pleasure to lead or be a part of several singles groups. One of the recurring themes is that ‘we cannot have everything we want in a relationship’. I’ve heard repeated stories of people that grew up with parents that were madly in love, never fought (at least in front of the children), and actually had a child-like playfulness to their relationship. These stories are consistently followed up by the statement that “These types of relationships don’t exist anymore.” and “That kind of love just can’t be found anymore.”
These statements make the assumption that all the good men and women are taken and that you can’t possibly find the love you are looking for. If you believe that extraordinary love just doesn’t exist anymore, maybe you’re right. Let’s just assume for a minute that you believe this. How does that make you feel knowing that you will never experience the love of your life? I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty depressing to me.
Now, indulge me for a minute. I know you’re right, real love can’t possibly exist in today’s society! We all believe what we believe for a reason. In spite of seeing what a great relationship should look like as you grew up, you have had some bad experiences with relationships. You’ve been burned! You’ve seen your friends go through bad relationships. So now, because of what you have experienced both personally and through conversations with others, you have formed this belief that there is no such thing as a great relationship anymore. You have to settle for what you can find and hope for the best. Is this a pretty good illustration of what your relationships are all about?
For those of us that grew up in dysfunctional homes (which is about 85% of us), relationships are just as challenging and sadly we never got to experience the joy of seeing our parents deeply in love.
A change of perspective
Now, let’s look at love and relationships from a different perspective. What would you have to believe for extraordinary love to exist? What conditions would have to exist for you to believe it is out there and waiting for you? If extraordinary love did exist and you were sure there was someone out there just for you, how would that make you feel?
“If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right!” ~ Henry Ford
Our beliefs will help us succeed or help us fail at almost anything in life. More times than not it’s our beliefs that stand in our way of success at anything; business, relationships, or love! Simply by shifting your belief system from one of scarcity to one of abundance you can start to experience greater happiness and contentment than ever before.
With the limited space we have here, it’s not easy to explain how to make this shift. It can be done and is not that difficult once you understand the process and apply it. The key is to fundamentally shift your thinking to change your current set of beliefs. Understand that everything may not be as it appears. Armed with different information, new beliefs, and a willingness to be open to new possibilities will help you advance your dating and relationship life.
If you have not had the privileged to experience an extraordinary relationship, maybe it’s time to take and inward look to re-evaluate your personal beliefs. Are they limiting you and your success with relationships?
If you would like to learn more about changing your beliefs about dating and relationships, please contact me at [email protected].
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