From time to time I have to be reminded of the life lessons I teach. One of the most important lessons is to remain true to your values, ideals and yourself. When you compromise any one of those things, it reflects your character. It says you are willing to compromise and take the easier path.
Recently I have had my Must Have list challenged. For those of you that have not been following me very long, your Must Have list is the list of non-negotiable characteristics you want in your next relationship. Because of my list I have been called selfish, self-centered, and unrealistic to name just a few. However, the most interesting comments come from women that may have a romantic interest, but don’t have all of the characteristics that I am looking for. The conversation can quickly degrade into a major disagreement because I refuse to settle for less than my extraordinary relationship.
Some people will twist your relationship goals into something negative and take it as a personal attack. This is an emotionally immature position to take. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
Meeting someone that takes personal offense to your list of Must Haves; tries to justify why your list is wrong; wants you to compromise or tries to justify why they are a great match for you just doesn’t get it. They are not emotionally mature enough to recognize that we all have our own likes, dislikes, dreams and goals. These are the people you need to turn your back on and walk away. (That doesn’t mean that you can’t be friends. It just means that there should be no romantic relationship with that person.)
Don’t condemn other people for what they want in a relationship. They are free to make their choices just as you are free to make yours. Your preferences in a relationship are a reflection of you and your experiences! They are in no way a reflection of anyone else! Your choices do not determine whether someone else is a good or bad person. If you don’t meet someone’s criteria it just means you are not a good fit and vise versa. Period! If you look at it any other way, you have some serious self reflection to do. Be an adult. Recognize that everyone has their own personal relationship preferences. When you find some that has all of yours and you have all of theirs, you just might have the beginning of an extraordinary relationship!