#13 - When do you decide to go from Dating to Courting?

A couple of weeks ago we discussed the difference between Dating and Courting. (For those of you that missed it or have forgotten, go back and review our April 3, 2014 post.) Now, lets talk about the transition from Dating to Courting. When do you make that decision?

I think the answer will be a little different for each couple. However, ther…e are some basics that will apply to almost all situations. First, you should review your Must Haves to make sure you both meet each other’s criteria. This is a great (and interesting) conversation to share with each other. It will enlighten each of you to the things your mate desires and expects. If there are qualities or characteristics that are missing or have not been discovered yet, this is a good time to discuss those missing or unknown characteristics.

Second, you need to discuss what your expectations are as you go forward. One of you may be ready to move forward to the Courting stage and the other may not. The important factor is that you cannot force or coerce your mate into moving forward if they are not ready. Even if the two of you meet all of the other’s Must Haves, have a good intellectual, spiritual, emotional, and physical connection, and speak the same love languages, there can still be something missing. There has to be that “spark”, that “chemistry”, or what ever else you want to call it. If that one element is missing you have the potential for a good, maybe even great relationship, but it is unlikely to be extraordinary.

If everything else is in place, how long do you wait to see if that spark or chemistry develops? That is the million dollar question! Only YOU know how long you are willing to wait. Some couples feel it instantly. For some, it develops over time. And for others, it never develops. Only you can make the decision to continue dating or to move forward to courting when the time is right. It is a decision that should be mutually agreed to. Be honest about what you are feeling and thinking. It is the best way to make the right decisions for both of you.