#119 - You only control one half of any relationship!

That’s right! You only control one half of any relationship. It doesn’t make any difference whether that relationship is with your significant other, a parent, a child, a friend, a co-worker, etc. You only control your half. The other person controls their half!
In a healthy relationship, each of you will be in control of your own half. In an unhealthy relationship, one person may try to dominate or control the relationship to a point where the other relinquishes some or all of their personal control. This unhealthy relationship is not one that happens overnight, but very gradually over time and it is usually the woman (but not always) that ends up being controlled.
If you realize or discover that you you are in a controlling or abusive relationship, it’s time to leave. It doesn’t make any difference how much you may love (or think you love) someone, it’s time to leave. There is nothing loving about a relationship that strips you of your dignity, self-esteem or emotional identity.
You have to understand that no matter how good or how bad you act in a relationship, you are only responsible for, and in control of your half. You cannot control or change (as much as you might try) the other persons actions, reactions, decisions, etc. This type of relationship often happens when one person sees potential in another person and tries to “force” that person to see it, acknowledge it, accept it and want to achieve it. Trying to “fix” someone is also a sign of an unhealthy relationship. If you find yourself trying to “fix” people around you, it may be time to seek some professional counseling because this can be an unhealthy behavior. If you find that someone is trying fix you, it may be time to leave that relationship.
The bottom line is be responsible for yourself. Don’t try to change anyone because you think they can be better. If they want to make a change, they will. If they don’t, they won’t. Change has to come from within and cannot be forced from the outside. Finally, don’t allow someone to try to change you to become what they want you to be.
If you or someone you know has questions about dating, please send them to me at [email protected].
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