#116 - Making the effort is the difference between success and failure

Are you attracted to someone? Are they attracted to you? Is there a possibility of a relationship? These are the golden questions! We all have the possibility for many relationships. Most often they don’t work out because of some missing element needed for an extraordinary relationship. Sometimes its the fact that there are deal breakers that get in the way. Today, lets talk about the effort necessary to make a relationship work.

A romantic relationship is a two way street with a give and take from both people. When only one is vested in the relationship, you are in for some major hurdles.

Defining the two way street can sometimes be difficult. Is it one or two lanes that run in both directions? Or, is it six lanes in one direction and only one lane in the other? Do you expect your partner to put in all the effort to build, grow and maintain the relationship? Is this something that the two of you have discussed and agree to do or is it implicitly expected? This is where great communication comes in. You both need to share your ideas and expectations of what a great relationship should look like.

Threshold of rejection.
There comes a point in time for everyone that enough is enough. You can only ask for a date so many times and be told that he/she already has plans. You can only try to be a part of someone’s support system and be rejected so many times. Some people have higher thresholds of rejection than others. However, there comes a point in time when even the most persistent person will throw their hands up in frustration and say “I’ve had enough.”

Some people just don’t get it!
It is incredibly difficult for anyone to maintain interest in a relationship when your potential mate is too busy with work, friends and/or having fun to invest time in the relationship. Relationships cannot be built on an hour (or less) a week of together time. They take time to nurture and grow. You have to communicate your relationship expectations to your mate. Either they get it or they don’t! There comes a point where you just have to walk away from someone that doesn’t have the time for you.

Taking responsibility.
One of the hardest things to do for many people is to take responsibility for their part in a failed relationship. Responsibility is not always a 50/50 issue. Sometimes it is a 90/10 split. Regardless of the percentage, there are always two people in the relationship and two sides to every story and somewhere in the middle is the truth. Learn to accept your responsibility, learn from your mistakes and make a better effort next time.

If you or someone you know has questions about dating, please send them to me at [email protected].