#67 - How do you see love?

Here are two images, one appears loving and romantic and the other appears to be a serious and maybe even heated discussion.  How do you see a loving relationship?  Do you see it as always romantic with tender moments, always joyful and not a care in the world?  Do you see love as too much work, arguments and to little romance?  Or, do you see it as something in between?


In the early stages of a romantic relationship we are usually going to be overcome with infatuation.  Infatuation is what gives us butterflies in the stomach as you are about to reunite with your lover.  It is that weak in the knees feeling.  It is that tingle you get when you see your lover across the room.  But, what happens when the infatuation wears off?


After infatuation, you start to see and experience the real person you are with…the good, the bad and the morning breath.  You are starting to deal with the day-to-day aspects of a relationship.  If you are with your extraordinary love, your soul mate, you will learn to come together as a team and work through all the daily issues.  Your love for each other will help build each other up, not tear each other down.  Life will throw road blocks in your way.  As emotionally mature lovers, you should be able to work your way through any issues with good, open and honest conversation.


A question that I am sometimes asked is “How do you get to the point where you can have open and honest conversations?”  My answer is; “One step at a time.”  From very early on in your relationship you need to be brave and courageous.  If you have rarely (if ever) had really deep, honest conversations with anyone, this will be a growing and learning process.  Rarely have I found dealing with problems and having tough conversations to be easy or comfortable.  However, what I have found is that the more I have these types of conversations the more I find that my anxiety or stress is reduced.  It doesn’t completely go away…it’s just not as strong.


In the end, when you are with your extraordinary love, working through issues will be much easier than you have experienced in the past.  Some things that were issues in the past may no longer be issues.  Why?  Just because!  They become less important because just being with your soul mate is what brings you joy!  When you are with this person, it is an incredible feeling of love.  It is a feeling that never goes away; it is unconditional.  How do you describe that kind of love?  I can’t.  Anyone that has experienced this kind of love, even for a short period of time, understands that it is a feeling that transcends words. 


Extraordinary love will resemble both pictures above.  When you find this love, you will know it.  You will not question it; it will just be there residing inside you and your lover.