#58 - Do you want a great relationship or an STD?

Where should you draw the line of promoting sex outside of marriage?  Do you believe in the 3 or 5 date rule?  (This is the rule that says you have to have 3,5 or whatever your number is dates before you sleep with someone.)  Do you wait until you are in a committed relationship?  Or, do you wait until marriage?  I bring these questions up because of a recent request for help by a female writer for a major men’s health magazine.  The quote below is her request. “looking for relationship/intimacy experts who can talk about sexy, not creepy, things you can say to “get her naked right now” (“right
now” is open for interpretation).”


I’m not sure why this surprised me so much.  Maybe it was because the request came from a woman.  Maybe it was because of the brashness of her request.  Maybe it’s because my values have changed over the years as I have matured.


Over the past 50 years it has become so easy just to jump into bed with someone you hardly know.  I’m not saying that people didn’t do this sort of thing before the 1960’s but it wasn’t an acceptable practice back then.  As the cultural revolution of the ’60’s and ’70’s progressed, traditional family values were pushed by the wayside and they continue to be left farther and farther behind us everyday.


Where do we draw the line?  As a practicing Christian, I know that I am supposed to wait until marriage for physical intimacy.  As an author, speaker and dating coach I know that introducing sex too early in a relationship inhibits our ability to connect with our partner intellectually, spiritually and emotionally…and that is scientific fact.  As a man, I know the physical urges and desires we have and they can be overwhelming, making even the strongest among us give in to temptation.  If we give in to physical desires too frequently with too many partners, we open ourselves up to gifts that keep on giving…STD’s.


Ultimately, the decision belongs to each one of us.  The longer we keep our clothes on, the more likely we are to develop a stronger, healthier relationship.  And, if it is not the right relationship, you will not have given your physical self away for momentary pleasure.