#325 - Don't let age become your enemy

communication connection dating four cornerstone of great relationships

In the past 5 ½ years since my dad has passed, I’ve become much more acutely aware of the fragility of life.

I’m starting to understand some of the conversations my dad would have with me about details of his estate and where to find things when he died.

I’m starting to have those same conversations with my daughter. I want to make things as easy for her as I possibly can. After all, none of us will get out of this life alive.

Just like most of you, I would like to reach the end of my life with someone special by my side. While I’d like to think that I still have 20 or maybe even 30 years left, none of us is guaranteed any time on this earth.

This may sound a bit depressing today but there’s a point to be made here.
We are all given a certain amount of time while we live this life. It’s important to not only plan for the future, but it’s just as important to live today.

It’s important to enjoy each day and be thankful for all that we have. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of focusing on the things we don’t have; to fret about how life didn’t turn out as we had hoped or planned.

We have to enjoy the day regardless of what we have or don’t have and that includes being or not being in a relationship.

I hear from people that are turning 50, 60, or 70 and how they are running out of time. They’re worried that they’ll end up alone and lonely.

They say they don’t have time to wait for the right one to come along and just want to fill the vacancy in their life. They’re afraid of the time it takes to actually wait and find their soul mate.

And then, I get a comment like this on one of my Facebook ads for my book Dating Backward.

“I was married at 21, divorced at 42 and have been waiting for that extraordinary man for 28 years. I’m 70. Well, I have finally found him and it is certainly worth the wait. I haven’t read your book but I can at least be a testament to say” read the book and don’t sell yourself short on what you should or shouldn’t settle for!”

The point here is not to plug my book but to remind you all of what I share with you each week. It’s okay to be picky. It’s okay to want what you want. It’s okay to wait for the best that God has to offer.

Every soul mate couple that I have interviewed has told me the exact same thing almost word for word. “My spouse has brought more to the table than I could have ever imagined.”

Taking your time to find your soul mate is okay. Don’t let age become your enemy by thinking that you don’t have much time left.

Would you rather be with someone that is difficult, frustrating, and just fills a void in your life or would you rather be with the one that brings you great joy every day?

In my opinion, it is far better to spend only a few years in an extraordinary relationship than it is to spend 20 years in a mediocre and unfulfilling relationship.

The choice is yours. If you’re divorced and maybe even widowed, you’ve already spent 15, 20, 30, or more years in a mediocre marriage. Why would you want to do that again?

The whole point of getting a divorce in the first place was to get out of a mediocre marriage. Why would you not want to find extraordinary this time around?

Be patient like the woman quoted above. You may not like waiting. You may not like the dating process and all the one-and-done dates.

In the end, if you’re putting in the effort, you will find your soul mate and you’ll then discover why your efforts were worth every bit of time that it took.

I hope I’ve given you some ideas to make healthier dating and relationship decisions today. Have a great and blessed day.