#292 - Have you ever tried to build a relationship without talking?
Do you have time to talk?
It all starts with hello. After that, it’s up to you. Building a relationship starts with conversation and it takes time to talk and get to know each other.
Relationships are built one conversation at a time. It can’t be done when there is little or no contact.
It can’t be done with a few texts here and there. You need to have real dialogue. If you can’t be face to face, you at least need to spend time on the phone. Better yet, use Zoom, Skype, or Facetime.
It always fascinates me when women reach out to me on social media or dating sites. They initiate a conversation; I reply in a reasonable amount of time and then nothing.
If you have no intention of continuing a conversation, why did you reach out in the first place? Guys are notorious for this also!
You can’t build a relationship without communication!
If you don’t have time to talk, you don’t have time for a relationship. It’s that simple. You only find time for the things that are important.
That’s true for everything including the people in your life. When you reach out to connect with someone you want to get to know, you have to invest time.
If you don’t have time, don’t start something you can’t or won’t follow up with. It’s a waste of time for everyone involved.
There are people you will come across that you have a passing interest in getting to know.
You have a marginal attraction or connection, but they’re not really a high priority. When you run into this situation, don’t lead them to believe that you have more interest than you really do.
Don’t suggest you’d like to get together or get to know them and not follow through.
This is where being an adult comes into play. You have to recognize that you don’t have time for everything (or everyone) you want.
You have to set your priorities.
Is work your priority? Is family your priority? Are things like your home, car, hobbies, or other things a priority? Is a relationship your priority?
All of these things may be important to you, but unless you identify which is a priority nothing will be.
One of the worst things you can do is neglect a relationship.
If your relationship isn’t a priority it will die. As the song says, “just like the smoke from that torpedo, it will up and fade away.”
All relationships take nurturing. Have you ever had a relationship and for whatever reason you could lose contact for years and then reconnect like no time has passed?
I have. But what I’ve found is that with age comes the importance of connection. I now recognize that these relationships were good to begin with, but they become great when you invest time in them.
Don’t lose a relationship do to neglect. If you value that relationship, invest time. Learn to talk, not text. It doesn’t take a lot of time, but the more time you invest the stronger the relationship can be.
Don’t make the conversations all about you.
When you have a conversation with someone, make sure you let them talk. You won’t find out anything about anyone if you’re the only one talking.
One of the keys to developing a great conversation is to ask questions…and then listen. Letting the other person talk while you’re listening and paying attention will help deepen your connection.
It makes them feel heard and respected. When someone feels heard and respected, they’re more likely to open up and connect with you on a deeper level.
None of this can happen though if you don’t make time for conversation.
I hope I’ve given you some food for thought to help you make healthier relationship decisions.
Please feel free share your thoughts, your successes, and your missteps to help others get better one step at a time. Leave a comment below or drop me an email at [email protected].
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