#291 - Ladies, if you want a good man, do these things!

communication connection

A few weeks ago, I talked about what men need to do to attract a good woman. Ladies, it’s your turn today.

When it comes to finding a good man, be a great woman. It’s a lot simpler than you might think.

Men are pretty simple. I know…I’m one of them. Appreciate us, feed us, make love to us and we’re happy!

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Here are some things that will make you more attractive to a good man.

Learn to communicate!
Ladies, we can’t read your mind. You need to share with us what’s going on when you’re upset.

You need to recognize that men communicate much differently than women. You use nearly twice as many words a day as men do. Try shortening some of your stories to just the basics.

When you need him to just listen, tell him that up front. Don’t expect him to know that you’re not asking him to help you fix your problem.

If he can see that you’re upset and asks you what’s wrong, don’t say “Nothing.” We may be simple but we’re not stupid. If you don’t know how to express it, say so and agree to talk in an hour or sometime the next day.

Don’t ignore the issue or let it fester inside you. It will only make later conversations much more emotional and much more frustrating for both of you.

Don’t beat him up with something he said or did six or months ago!
Ladies, you have an incredible way of recalling conversations from the past in vivid detail. Men don’t. We’re lucky to remember what we ate for dinner last night.

You connect most conversations and events to emotions. Men don’t because we compartmentalize these things. For us it’s like putting it in a box and putting it in the attic.

We don’t remember what’s in the box until we have to go back, open it up, and see what’s inside.

Intelligence is sexy!
Just as you find a smart man sexy, men find a smart woman sexy. If you’re looking for a good man, you should be able to hold your own in a good conversation.

Don’t be afraid to show your smarts. Be conversant in the subjects he’s most fond of. We all have different interest and if you’re not familiar with what he likes, ask questions and show interest.

Set your expectations up front!
Understand that most men may not know how to be a gentleman and treat you like a lady. If he has the fundamentals of being a good man, he can be taught.

Let him know that you expect doors to be opened for you. If he doesn’t have much style, let him know how you’d like him to dress when you go out.

This isn’t a license to change his personality or his habits. These are easy superficial changes and lessons in being a gentleman.

If you think you can “fix” him, guess again. You’re wasting your time and his. If this is you goal, it’s time to move on and find someone that doesn’t need fixing.

Learn to let go of the past!
Stop complaining about your past relationships. Get rid of that baggage before you start dating!

Your new guy is not your ex. Don’t assume that just because he says or does something that triggers you, he’s like your ex. Learn your triggers and share those with him.

If you continually end up with guys that are hurtful, abusive, or are in any way not a gentleman, you have to take a long look at you.

There are plenty of good men out there that are looking for a good woman. When you stop assuming that everyone them is your ex you’ll actually start to see some of the good in a lot of them.

I hope I’ve given you some food for thought to help you make healthier relationship decisions.

Please feel free share your thoughts, your successes, and your missteps to help others get better one step at a time. Leave a comment below or drop me an email at [email protected].

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