#268 - Dating, as with life, is about taking risks

connection courage dating fear self worth

Whether you realize it or not, everything you do in life has some risk involved. Just getting out of bed each day is a risk. Have you ever jumped out of bed, taken a couple of steps and had to stop because you got lightheaded?

Maybe you’ve even had that temporary “black curtain” come over you where you temporarily lose your vision for a couple of seconds. Then, when the blood comes back to your head everything is fine.

Yet, for a couple of moments you don’t know whether you can maintain your balance and keep yourself from falling.

You risk slipping and falling in the shower.

You run the risk of dying in a car accident on your way to the grocery store.

You run life threatening risks each time you climb a ladder, swim in a lake or pool, take medication, trip and fall, expose yourself to extreme heat or cold, and the list goes on and on.

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Then there are risks that are not life threatening.
The first one the comes to mind is going into business for yourself. People risk their life savings and their future to go into business.

You run the risk of burning yourself each time you cook a meal. You risk scalding yourself each morning with that cup of coffee.

Each day it seems I run the risk of breaking a toe when I trip over a piece of equipment, furniture, or something laying around the house.

You take a risk when you date. You take a risk when you get married. You take a risk by not taking care of yourself physically, mentally and spiritually.

You take an emotional risk when you speak out against something. You take a risk when you don’t speak up. You take a risk by sharing your beliefs or sharing what’s on your heart.

While these risks generally aren’t life threatening, they can threaten your self-image and your self-confidence.

How do you judge what’s an acceptable risk and what isn’t?
It’s primarily based on the anticipated reward or benefit you receive from any action or decision you make vs. the possibility of what could go wrong.

In certain areas of my life, I’m a risk taker, yet in other areas I am very risk averse.

Some risks are based on what is socially acceptable such as driving. In spite of the fact that more than 36,000 people still die each year on our roads and highways, most of you like the odds that you’ll make it to your destination just fine.

The point is, you take risks every day.
You can’t avoid it. Some risks you just automatically assume are acceptable and others you don’t. There’s not necessarily a rational reason for your choices. You just deem them to be acceptable.

However, when it comes to dating, many people deem the risks too high. You’ve had a couple of bad experiences and you shut down. You’re unwilling to take any additional risk.

When it comes to dating there is always going to be risk. No one wants to get their heart broken. No one wants to get hurt.

However, if you’re serious about finding your one true love, you have to be open to the possibility that it will happen.

If you keep everyone at an emotional arms distance, you’ll never find your soul mate because they can’t break though the walls you’ve built.

Take time to heal from the pain of your past.
Let whatever happened in the past stay there! Learn from it, grow from it, and make it your motivation to move forward in a stronger healthier way.

Learn to trust again. Not only do you have to learn to trust other people, but you must learn to trust yourself. Learn to trust your judgement. I know that can be so hard for some of you because of past bad choices or decisions.

The reality is that most of us have a gut feeling about things. When something doesn’t feel quite right it usually isn’t. You need to learn to listen to that feeling or that voice. When you do, you’ll start to recognize that you’re making better decisions.

When you make better decisions, you’ll start trusting yourself and others more. And that leads to taking the emotional risks necessary to find your soul mate or extraordinary relationship.

And that’s the whole point of dating, finding your one true love. Take a step outside your comfort zone and take one little risk at a time.

Build upon each successful step you take and learn from your missteps. The key is to keep trying, keep learning, and keep moving forward.

Today I hope I’ve given you a little motivation to step outside of your comfort zone. Make this a personal challenge to take one small step at a time to keep your dating life moving forward. Please share your successes and your mis-steps to help others see that you can get better one step at a time. Leave a comment below or drop me an email at [email protected].

Have a great and blessed day!