#226 - Holy crap! If you're going to date, get serious about it!

I’ve recently returned to online dating after being away for about 3 years. Each time I have signed up, I’m amazed by what I see and read.

I’m constantly told by women about all the garbage profiles they have to sift through. Well, let me tell you ladies, a lot of you have garbage profiles too!

Guys, just because I’m directing my comments at the ladies doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. Everything I’m telling them applies to you too!

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If you really want to be serious about finding a great relationship you have to put some heart into it!
At least half of the profiles I look at start off with a picture of you wearing sun glasses, no smile, out of focus, a floppy hat or baseball cap that covers half your face, or you with a pet or grand baby obstructing your face.

What a huge turn off. Why would any guy want to do anymore than skip right past you? Yes, I’m sure you get some of the bottom feeders that will try to woo you. But, is that what you’re really looking for?

Most of you profess to want better than what you’ve had in the past. Most of you tell me that you want that extraordinary soul mate relationship. If that’s true, you’re going to have to work a little harder at it!

Most people put in more effort to plan a vacation than they do looking for the right relationship.
And it shows! A good number of profiles I look at have left a significant portion of the profile questionnaire blank and have taken little or no time to complete the essay portion of the profile.

Yes, the essay portion is the most difficult part of setting up you online profile. In my opinion, it’s also the most significant part! This is where you get to shine! This is where the real you can start to come through. I’ll talk more about this in a minute.

Don’t discount the importance of fully completing as much of an online profile as possible.

The invention of the smart phone was a blessing for simple photography.
It’s almost impossible to not get a few great, crisp, clear photos with today’s phones. If you’re not confident in your ability to use your phone camera, have one of your friends, one of your kids or a kid down the block help you take a couple of pictures.

It’s pretty simple. You need to have a decent photo for your profile picture. This should be a close up of your face only, not one with you standing ten feet away. Then, at the very least, you should have a full body shot.

They’re going to see you sooner or later so you might as well be honest and show yourself. Keep the group shots to a minimum! And then, make sure you point out which one you are!

Keep your pics fresh and current. If it’s more than 3 years old of anything other than an extremely important event in your life, get rid of it.

After that, take a few pictures of you doing the things you like to do or at the places you like to go. It helps to build your profile in a way that words can’t.

And then there’s the essay part of the profile!
I’d guess that at least 20 to 25 percent of the profiles I see have two sentences or less telling about themselves.

This is not a part to be filled out later. Either you’re in it to win it or you’re not in it at all. Don’t waste your time or your money if you’re not going to be serious about filling out the profile information.

Pretty pictures are only part of the formula. You have to talk about yourself. I know this is really uncomfortable for almost everyone. Even me! But you have to do it.

Start out writing your profile in a Word document. Word generally has a pretty good spell check feature. Make sure you use it! Craft your story in such a way the it represents you. The best way to do that is to write the way you speak.

If you have problems using good grammar and punctuation, use a free app like Grammarly. It can make a world of difference in how you come across.

If you have trouble figuring that out, just record yourself like you’re dictating your profile. (Your phone has a feature for that too.) Then write it out as you spoke it. It may feel a little weird at first, but it will capture the real you.

Once you’ve done this, copy and paste it into your online profile. It doesn’t have to be perfect. One of the techniques I use is to get the basic up first and refine it as I go.

The way I refine it is by reading profiles. When I see something that matches my thoughts, feelings, wants, and desires then I add it to my profile.

Finally, guys, if you want to make an impression, READ HER PROFILE before messaging her. Don’t waste her time or yours just because you like her picture. Don’t expect her to respond when you two clearly have little or nothing in common.

Now go clean up your online dating profiles and see what happens.

I hope today’s topic is helpful. Join me next week for If you don’t ask, the answer is always NO!

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